If you haven't seen the TV production of Finding Sarah, you may just want to check it out on OWN. Sarah, better known as the Duchess of York, better known as Fergie, bares her soul and confesses that if she won't be able to find herself, she thinks she will die.
Once upon a time she married a prince, and became a princess. She lived in a palace and had two beautiful children, and she enjoyed all the pomp and circumstance that goes with being a royal. Then things went down-hill. She gained weight, she was accused of being a bad mom, she was photographed topless, kissing the toe of her financial advisor, she divorced her prince, lost all her money, and she now lives with a truck -load of guilt, regret, and deep, deep sadness. She claims she "had it all, but threw it all away."
This idea that we "want to find or discover our true self" is a common refrain. It feels as if we've lost something vital, and without it nothing works. Like a vehicle without an engine or a computer without an operating system, we need that "thing" that will navigate us joyfully through life. Without that "thing" we feel miserable. We feel the separation, the divergence.
That thing that is missing is ALIGNMENT. And without alignment NOTHING WORKS.
So, what exactly is alignment? And how does Sarah get it? How did she lose it in the first place? And why is she having such hard time finding it?
True alignment is self love and knowing without a doubt that you are worthy and loveable. Sarah has neither. Instead, she has a pile of evidence to prove it-a mother who abandoned her, an emotionally bankrupt father, and an archive of newspaper headings that continue to publically humiliate and criticize her persona.
In short, she's been persuaded and convinced by others throughout her life that she is unworthy and not good enough. And the sad part is that Sarah continues to believe this story. In fact, she probably believes that she is cursed, tainted, and just plain unlucky.
Sorry Sarah! But there's nothing sinister about how your life has unfolded. The law of attraction has been doing what it's supposed to do, and that is, to match you up with the energy you are feeling.
If Sarah constantly feels insecure and unworthy, then she will continue to attract insecurity and unworthiness. There's nothing esoteric going on here-it's just law.
So, how does Sarah break this unwanted momentum? How does she begin to feel loved, to feel worthy, to feel aligned?
1. Sarah has to let go of all the "stories" in her life that feel bad. She has to stop telling those stories, stop remembering them, stop breathing life into them. Because whenever she thinks about them, she activates them in her mind.
2. Sarah has to find new thoughts that feel good and true to her. And there are many right under her nose: She has her beautiful daughters to think about. There is the kindness and love from Prince Andrew. She can focus on the opportunity she has been given to work with Oprah, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and of course, my mentor, Dr. Martha Beck.
There's a lot here to feel good about. But it will require Sara to FOCUS.
If I could speak to Sarah personally...
There is no doubt that you've had tough challenges in life. It wasn't right or acceptable that your mother left you and moved to Argentina with another man. It wasn't right that your father encouraged you to bury your emotions; it wasn't right the press are critical and mean whenever you look less than perfect.
But here's what is right and wonderful...
Each painful episode has been the impetus for YOU wanting to find yourself. Each painful episode has been harassing YOU into your personal expansion. You think you have lost everything. But dear Sarah, you are about to find everything. Stay on course.
Once upon a time she married a prince, and became a princess. She lived in a palace and had two beautiful children, and she enjoyed all the pomp and circumstance that goes with being a royal. Then things went down-hill. She gained weight, she was accused of being a bad mom, she was photographed topless, kissing the toe of her financial advisor, she divorced her prince, lost all her money, and she now lives with a truck -load of guilt, regret, and deep, deep sadness. She claims she "had it all, but threw it all away."
This idea that we "want to find or discover our true self" is a common refrain. It feels as if we've lost something vital, and without it nothing works. Like a vehicle without an engine or a computer without an operating system, we need that "thing" that will navigate us joyfully through life. Without that "thing" we feel miserable. We feel the separation, the divergence.
That thing that is missing is ALIGNMENT. And without alignment NOTHING WORKS.
So, what exactly is alignment? And how does Sarah get it? How did she lose it in the first place? And why is she having such hard time finding it?
True alignment is self love and knowing without a doubt that you are worthy and loveable. Sarah has neither. Instead, she has a pile of evidence to prove it-a mother who abandoned her, an emotionally bankrupt father, and an archive of newspaper headings that continue to publically humiliate and criticize her persona.
In short, she's been persuaded and convinced by others throughout her life that she is unworthy and not good enough. And the sad part is that Sarah continues to believe this story. In fact, she probably believes that she is cursed, tainted, and just plain unlucky.
Sorry Sarah! But there's nothing sinister about how your life has unfolded. The law of attraction has been doing what it's supposed to do, and that is, to match you up with the energy you are feeling.
If Sarah constantly feels insecure and unworthy, then she will continue to attract insecurity and unworthiness. There's nothing esoteric going on here-it's just law.
So, how does Sarah break this unwanted momentum? How does she begin to feel loved, to feel worthy, to feel aligned?
1. Sarah has to let go of all the "stories" in her life that feel bad. She has to stop telling those stories, stop remembering them, stop breathing life into them. Because whenever she thinks about them, she activates them in her mind.
2. Sarah has to find new thoughts that feel good and true to her. And there are many right under her nose: She has her beautiful daughters to think about. There is the kindness and love from Prince Andrew. She can focus on the opportunity she has been given to work with Oprah, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and of course, my mentor, Dr. Martha Beck.
There's a lot here to feel good about. But it will require Sara to FOCUS.
If I could speak to Sarah personally...
There is no doubt that you've had tough challenges in life. It wasn't right or acceptable that your mother left you and moved to Argentina with another man. It wasn't right that your father encouraged you to bury your emotions; it wasn't right the press are critical and mean whenever you look less than perfect.
But here's what is right and wonderful...
Each painful episode has been the impetus for YOU wanting to find yourself. Each painful episode has been harassing YOU into your personal expansion. You think you have lost everything. But dear Sarah, you are about to find everything. Stay on course.
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